guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Randomize
