Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
