we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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