i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
