Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
