i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
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