I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
