How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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