I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
