My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
you mean i was at the winter classic?
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
