i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
