Three words: puerto rican gang bang
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
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