i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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