I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
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