Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
