I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
whose parrot is this?
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
