Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
