I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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