Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
