I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
