I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Randomize
