so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the liver wants what the liver wants
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize