it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
