I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Randomize
