Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
