is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Randomize
