I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I just cut my nipple shaving
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
My bed is full of blood and feathers
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Randomize