Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
the day after is always just damage control
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
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