Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
