I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Randomize
