Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize
