that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Randomize