are you still at the devil's house?
Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
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