girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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