mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
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