So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
