I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize