He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
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I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
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I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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