Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
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