Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Randomize
