Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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