He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
it's great music for shaving your balls
Houston, we have a blender
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Randomize
