Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
