I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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