I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
