Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
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