Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
