i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
