im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
You are a genius and a whore.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
