just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
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