Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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