? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
