It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Randomize
