not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
