Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Randomize
