Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Randomize
