when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
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