I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
I'm drive I can fine osifer
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
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