We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Randomize
