birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
