Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
