I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
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