i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
