alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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