just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Randomize
