Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
